00:00:00: Introduction
00:01:10: The quote
00:01:26: The inspiration for the quote
00:03:57: The problem itself
00:07:42: Concepts for motion…
00:07:56: … 1: curiosity earlier than dedication
00:09:00: … 2: gradual, do not cease
00:11:27: … 3: have a good time the wins
00:14:14: Personalise the quote
00:15:17: Remaining ideas
Sarah Ellis: Hello, I am Sarah.
Helen Tupper: And I am Helen.
Sarah Ellis: And that is the Squiggly Careers podcast. Each week, we speak about a special subject to do with work, and share some concepts and actions to assist all of us navigate these more and more Squiggly Careers with that bit extra confidence and management.
Helen Tupper: And this episode is a part of a brief collection that we determined to do for the summer time, after we thought everybody may do with a bit of little bit of inspiration, some concepts they may put into motion. So, we’ve taken our favorite quotes. I by no means actually thought I might speak about Sarah having favorite quotes, however it seems you do have some favorite quotes that encourage you.
Sarah Ellis: So, the one I’ve picked for the following episode I do not even suppose is a quote. I used to be like, “It is a definition!”
Helen Tupper: “It is a assertion of intent!”
Sarah Ellis: It is a assertion!
Helen Tupper: So, we have taken our favorite ‘statements of intent’ and quotes which were useful for us in our careers, and we’ve turned them into issues that you could take motion with. So, that is the third episode on this collection. The primary one was a quote that is labored for me, which was, “Run your individual race”; the second was a quote which has labored for Sarah, which was, “By no means reside the identical 12 months twice”; and at present is again to me for my quote that feels helpful for me in my profession, which I feel is likely to be a bit contentious for folks; we’ll see. It really works for me. I will try to flip it into one thing that works for different folks. So, my quote that we will speak about at present is, “Problem your limits, do not restrict your challenges”.
Sarah Ellis: And I’ve heard you say that earlier than, however it at all times simply takes me a second simply to be like —
Helen Tupper: “What does she imply?”
Sarah Ellis: Yeah. Okay, so speak to us about the place’s that come from and maybe, what does that imply for you?
Helen Tupper: Yeah, have you learnt what? I can reply a type of higher than the opposite. So, the place has it come from? I do not know, it is these bits of knowledge. It makes me consider that ebook, you realize the ebook by Liz Gilbert, Massive Magic, that is it.
Sarah Ellis: Yeah.
Helen Tupper: She talks concerning the genius that comes into the room and if you happen to do not catch it, it goes onto someone else. I really feel that is a bit like with me and quotes. They arrive in, I do not the place they arrive, they arrive in —
Sarah Ellis: Yeah, I actually do not forget that ebook, The Origin Story. Additionally, I’ve tried to speak you into sharing origin tales. I keep in mind after we have been writing Gremlins, I used to be like, “We have to do the origin story”, and I feel you simply do not hook up with that, to the place issues got here from.
Helen Tupper: No. So, I do not know, it got here into some form of room or a ebook, or one thing, the ‘problem your limits, do not restrict your challenges’, so I am unable to reply that one, to be sincere. But it surely did stick. And so, what I can say is why did it stick? I feel this actually resonated with me across the time that we have been beginning Squiggly, as a result of on the time, full-time job at Virgin, launching new enterprise with Virgin, had quite a bit happening. I feel it was earlier than I had my first little one, in order that wasn’t fairly taking place. However there have been a lot of issues beginning to occur, so Virgin, Squiggly, the child factor got here on the agenda; it occurred!
Sarah Ellis: Realizing you, it most likely was on an agenda someplace!
Helen Tupper: Most likely on an agenda! After which clearly, MBA began, and it was all form of a lot of stuff taking place. And I received loads of problem from different folks, the place I felt they have been putting their limits on me. And I feel with the ‘problem your limits’ factor, the phrase ‘your’ might be an important factor for me in that quote. As a result of, what I began to really feel, different folks have been saying to me, “Oh, you are going to need to let one thing go, that is an excessive amount of to do. You want to select. One thing’s going to interrupt, you are going to drop a plate”, you realize, all of that chat.
Sarah Ellis: Fairly damaging?
Helen Tupper: Fairly damaging, which I feel was hopefully coming from a spot of care, they do not need me to fail, or not succeed, however it was additionally coming from their perspective of what is attainable. And I imagine that that appears totally different for various folks. And so, I feel that ‘problem your limits, do not restrict your challenges’ actually resonated for me, as a result of it stopped me from letting go of issues that have been necessary to me due to what different folks thought I may or could not do.
Sarah Ellis: Whenever you have been in that second, so I clearly keep in mind you in that second, as a result of we have recognized one another for thus lengthy now, there’s not many moments I now do not keep in mind about your life, however I do do not forget that being fairly a disturbing time for you. I can conjure up photos of us sitting in espresso outlets and also you look actually fairly like, “Wow, there’s a lot taking place for the time being”. And undoubtedly your response to that was not, “Properly, let’s take some issues away”, it wasn’t about subtracting. So, how in that second do you suppose that was useful? How did you discover your approach by, I suppose what was a doubtlessly knotty second, however maybe did not get to that time; maybe that is what folks have been anticipating was going to occur?
Helen Tupper: I feel the factor to recognise about difficult your limits, not limiting your challenges is it’s nonetheless difficult. That is the entire level, this isn’t simple. That is one thing that most likely does really feel a bit troublesome to do, and so I feel that is a part of the method, since you’re most likely doing one thing that you have not performed earlier than, otherwise you’re doing one thing on high of what you are already doing. There’s a component of the form of braveness zone happening right here. Final 12 months, we wrote a ebook on high of our day jobs. That was a problem, that was undoubtedly a problem. It wasn’t simple at instances, it was troublesome, that was a problem that we determined to do. We at the moment are contemplating a PhD subsequent 12 months. That may be a problem that we’ll or is not going to determine to do. So, I do not get up every single day and go, “Immediately, I will do a PhD; tomorrow, I will write a ebook”. However there are particular moments in time the place I feel you must choose a problem and also you recognise that problem is a push past the place you’re at present. However I feel these moments the place you choose a problem are the moments when different folks will inform you to tug it down. And what I am saying is, if you happen to choose the challenges which can be best for you and you place the proper help round it, the stuff that we will speak about within the actions that I feel labored for me, I feel you’ll be able to push previous a few of these issues, and I do not suppose you ought to be constrained by different folks’s limits that they need to placed on you.
Sarah Ellis: And I suppose the upside for this, the ‘what could be higher due to it?’ is I feel this the way you discover your potential, by doing this you’ve got not performed earlier than; and likewise, the way you achieve confidence that you could most likely do greater than you give your self credit score for. So, I am enthusiastic about some challenges that folks would set for themselves that you’d by no means set, like operating a marathon for the primary time.
Helen Tupper: I imply…!
Sarah Ellis: Who is aware of although?!
Helen Tupper: We’re difficult my limits!
Sarah Ellis: That is the second the place she’s like, “No, I’m going to!” That, I would query however, hey, who is aware of? However I do know a few individuals who have performed, say, just like the London Marathon who weren’t runners earlier than, or did it for a charity, or they only maybe would have beforehand restricted themselves, or different folks might need restricted them, to go, “Oh, yeah, however you are probably not a runner, otherwise you’re probably not into health”, or no matter. However they’ve set themselves one thing that is gone past the place they have been earlier than. And I feel a number of the outcomes of doing this are very constructive round each functionality and confidence. As a result of virtually, it does not actually matter what it’s. As soon as you’ve got performed a few of these issues, that I really feel are simply difficult for you, you most likely then go, “Oh, okay, properly I may do this once more.
Helen Tupper: I attempted. You recognize, we speak about with confidence gremlins, one of many issues that lets you cage a confidence gremlin is having moments of delight. And these moments, the place I’ve challenged by limits, are huge moments of delight. They weren’t at all times simple, again to the troublesome level, however they have been moments the place I had loads of delight.
Sarah Ellis: So, let’s transfer on to those actions. Now we have hopefully satisfied — I really feel like we have tried actually laborious to persuade folks that this is not as relentless because it sounds.
Helen Tupper: Yeah, I hope not. No, I do not suppose. I am taking a look at my actions now, I do not suppose these are relentless. Properly, you may give me some suggestions.
Sarah Ellis: No, go on then, motion one?
Helen Tupper: Motion primary, curiosity earlier than dedication. So, I feel if there’s a problem that you simply need to go after, one thing troublesome, possibly different individuals are going, “Oh, possibly do not do this”. I feel earlier than you go, “Properly, I’m going to do it, I’m going to begin that PhD, I’m going to try this new job, I’m going to do no matter”, I feel purpose for curiosity first. Do not blindly decide to issues which can be difficult. Go discover somebody who has performed the factor you need to do, go spend time simply getting a bit nearer to it so you’ll be able to perceive the truth of it, perceive what may want to vary to make it attainable. You are not making an attempt to critique and kill it, however I do suppose simply earlier than you say, “I’m going to do that”, simply having a form of a second the place you’re curious, I might purpose for that first.
Sarah Ellis: Yeah, it is virtually doing a little bit of due diligence, is not it, which does not sound as good curiosity, however we’re actually making an attempt to form of work out, does this really feel like the proper problem? As a result of I feel it isn’t nearly any problem, it is about the proper problem for you.
Helen Tupper: Like quantity two?
Sarah Ellis: Okay, so what subsequent, yeah?
Helen Tupper: Gradual, do not cease. Okay, let me clarify. So, I feel that again to the, I am not saying that is at all times going to be simple. Like, if you happen to’re making an attempt to do one thing new or on high of what you are already doing, it is most likely not going to be simple. And there are occasions the place, it jogs my memory of the Banksy quote about, “Whenever you get drained, be taught to relaxation, not give up”. I feel there are occasions while you’re doing this that it’ll really feel fairly laborious, and I feel the temptation there’s to surrender, in all honesty, “Oh, it is too laborious. I ought to have listened to what everybody mentioned. Oh, I made a mistake. I should not be doing this”, and cease. And I feel what is healthier in these moments is to simply decelerate and go, “Okay, possibly I am unable to make this work this week. But it surely’s okay, I will choose it up once more on Monday”. As a result of I feel there’s typically loads of emotion tied up with that like, “Oh, it is too laborious, it is too troublesome, I am doing it fallacious, I ought to simply cease it”. I feel there’s typically loads of emotion. And if you happen to decelerate, typically the emotion goes away and I feel you’ll be able to have a look at it a bit extra objectively. So, that is my second perception on it.
Sarah Ellis: Yeah, I suppose the purpose with any problem, and definitely the challenges within the context we’re speaking about them at present, is that they’re more likely to be over a comparatively lengthy time period. It is unlikely to be per week or a month, these challenges. And so, the longer these challenges are, a bit like The Lengthy Win stuff from Cath Bishop, you’ll be able to’t pace the entire time. And if you happen to speak concerning the depth of that problem, there have been moments the place that depth would have felt like 90%, 100%. You really do have to virtually pre-emptively go, “When are the 90%, 100% moments? When are the ten% moments, realizing that is okay?” That is the, “I’ve actually slowed down, however I’ve not fairly stopped”.
Helen Tupper: Yeah.
Sarah Ellis: I feel that is fairly useful for folks, to me. I feel I do think about it as a little bit of a share, like the place am I on that share?
Helen Tupper: I typically really feel like pace is a alternative. I really feel like if I am dedicated to doing one thing, I am dedicated, determination made. However then, pace is a alternative. So, even utilizing the PhD for example, we’ve a view of how shortly we want to do this. If we do it, we’ve a view of how shortly we want to do it. And there may very well be a cut-off date the place we go, “Have you learnt what? We did need to do it that shortly, however we are able to select to do it, we may select to take one other 12 months, and we may select to decelerate in order that this feels attainable for us”. However I feel, simply take into consideration slowing, do not make the primary thought stopping, and you then preserve going with it, could be my factor.
I do not want my cellphone for the final one as a result of I keep in mind what the final one is.
Sarah Ellis: Go on then.
Helen Tupper: Have fun the wins. I feel if you’re difficult your limits, you should have a good time your wins, as a result of it clearly isn’t simple, and there can be a lot of good stuff you’re doing. You might need received an excellent little bit of suggestions from someone who has seen that you simply’re making an attempt actually laborious on this factor; or possibly you’ve got determined you are going to begin a publication and also you attain 1,000 followers of your publication. Have fun that win. I feel this hyperlinks quite a bit with Angela Duckworth’s stuff on Grit, which I feel you want for this. And she or he talks concerning the progress and the positivity that helps you retain progressing with the issues that matter to you. And I feel celebrating the wins helps you see progress since you’re like, “Oh, I am on the best way, it is working”; after which additionally, helps you’re feeling constructive, since you’re form of simply recognising the laborious work.
Sarah Ellis: Yeah, I feel I used to be simply reflecting on how we do this. I do not suppose both of us really are that motivated by it, like we do not really do it that always. However I feel if you happen to look again by our WhatsApp scroll, which I might by no means need anybody to ever do, ever —
Helen Tupper: Oh my gosh, are you able to think about?!
Sarah Ellis: — as a result of I simply suppose folks would by no means need to speak to us ever once more. They’d be like, “Wow, there’s relentless, after which there’s you two!” However I feel you possibly can spot the WhatsApps the place we each consciously go, “Oh, we should always take a second, although, to simply recognise”.
Helen Tupper: Yeah, “We must always recognise that that is an enormous factor”.
Sarah Ellis: I feel that is most likely typically one thing that you simply and I may each get higher at. I feel we each instinctively realize it and really feel it, however as a result of we do not naturally spend that a lot — typically we’ll be fairly on to the following factor. I feel there’s a level about challenges of like, do not transfer on too quickly; that capacity to really see the successes each alongside the best way, the smaller successes, however then really earlier than you progress on to the following factor, simply pause and feeling actually proud.
Helen Tupper: Yeah, I do maintain it, I actually do. “Problem your limits, do not restrict your challenges”, it comes again to me in these moments the place I virtually have a bit of little bit of doubt or I hear that from different folks and I’m going, “Cling on a minute, Helen. For those who have been going to problem your limits right here, what would it not seem like?” So, it’s fairly propelling for me. It is not blind perception, however it’s a propelling assertion that helps me simply form of go, “Okay, properly, how may this –” just like the PhD is such a superb instance, since you may go, “Wow, that is an enormous dedication, it’ll take a great deal of time. It is simple to say no to”. However then if I’m going, “Properly, if you’re going to problem the bounds that you simply’re creating for your self or that different individuals are creating for you, what would that seem like?” And I simply discover that a way more useful mind-set about performing some greater stuff I’ve not performed earlier than, a way more motivating approach. So, I suppose that is the way it’s labored for me.
Sarah Ellis: So, I suppose if you happen to’re listening to this now, one of many issues that you simply may need to do is simply take into consideration, what does this seem like for you, as a result of I feel it’s extremely private. Additionally, you may go, “It is not for me”. The purpose is we have chosen some quotes/statements that actually work for us. I feel it’s simply as fascinating, if you happen to’ve listened at present and simply gone, “That simply does not work for me”, there’s masses to be taught from that like, “Properly, why not? What’s it you do not like? What would you utilize as an alternative?” As a result of the one factor we do need to immediate all of us to be doing, all of us need to be regularly exploring what we are able to do and our potential. And in my expertise, folks normally have extra to present than they know. So, I feel that is form of the purpose right here. So, no matter goes to propel you to spend a little bit of time in that braveness zone, do stuff you’ve not performed earlier than, I feel that is what you are on the lookout for, that is the aim of this, whether or not that’s about difficult your limits or whether or not that is one thing totally different. Perhaps simply be asking your self now like, “Properly, what would work for me?”
Helen Tupper: Superb. So, hopefully you discovered it useful, we might love some suggestions. It is clearly the third episode within the collection so if you happen to’re discovering it helpful, you probably have any quotes which have impressed your profession, please tell us. We’re helenandsarah@squigglycareers.com.
Sarah Ellis: However that is all the pieces for this week. Thanks a lot for listening. In case you are listening in the course of the summer time, we hope you are having a beautiful August and we’re again with you once more subsequent week. Bye for now.
Helen Tupper: Bye everybody.
